What to include on a wedding RSVP, with wording to copy

A wedding RSVP should ask for each guest's name, whether they will attend, how many people in their party are coming, and the date to reply by. Add a meal choice if you are serving a plated dinner, a line for dietary needs, and per-event attendance if the wedding runs over more than one day. A song request or a short message for the couple are friendly extras, but each extra question is one more reason for a guest to put the reply off.

What are the must-have RSVP questions?

Four things decide your numbers, so every RSVP needs them.

• Names. Ask for the full name of everyone replying, including a named plus-one, so place cards and seating are right.
• Attending or not. A clear yes or no. Traditional cards say "Joyfully accepts" and "Regretfully declines", which reads warmer than a tick box.
• Number in the party. How many of the invited people are coming. Stating the number you reserved, such as "We have reserved 2 seats in your honor", stops guests adding people you did not invite.
• The reply date. Put "Please reply by" and a date on the card itself, three to four weeks before the wedding.

If you post paper reply cards, write a small number on the back of each one and keep a list of which number went to which guest. Some guests post the card back with nothing written on it, and the number tells you who it was.

Should you ask for meal choice and dietary needs?

Ask for a meal choice only if guests will pick from a plated menu. For a buffet, family-style service or a canapé reception, leave it off, because asking sets an expectation you cannot meet.

Dietary needs are worth asking about in almost every case. One short free-text line catches allergies and needs such as vegetarian, vegan, halal, kosher or gluten free, and your caterer will want that list. If children are invited, ask whether they need a kids' meal or a high chair.

Do song requests and messages belong on an RSVP?

They are optional, and they make the reply more personal. A line such as "A song that will get me on the dance floor" gives your DJ or band a playlist from the people who will be dancing. A message line gives guests a place to send congratulations, which is lovely to read before the day.

If you want messages that everyone can see, a wishes wall on your invitation page works better than a private note on the RSVP. On CardToPage, the Wishes Wall is included with the full website, and you can approve each wish before it shows.

How do you handle RSVPs for a multi-day wedding?

Ask about each event separately. A guest who comes to the ceremony and reception may skip the welcome drinks or the farewell brunch, and each of those has its own headcount, menu and sometimes its own venue. Indian weddings and many destination weddings run over several days, and a single yes or no hides the numbers you need.

List each event with its day, and let guests mark the ones they will attend. If some guests are only invited to some events, send them a version that lists only those events, so nobody reads about a party they were left out of. For family functions, see our guide to Indian wedding RSVP wording.

What does good RSVP wording look like?

Here is wording you can copy for a printed reply card or an online form. Remove any line you will not use.

How do you set up the RSVP questions?

Start from what you will do with each answer, then build the form or card in that order.

1. 01List what each answer changes Write down who uses each answer. If no supplier or plan depends on a question, drop it.
2. 02Start with names and attendance Put these two first, so a guest who stops halfway still gives you the answer that matters.
3. 03Add the headcount Ask how many are coming, and say how many seats you reserved.
4. 04Choose your extra questions Rank meal choice, events and song requests by how much each one affects your plans.
5. 05Set the deadline Choose a date three to four weeks before the wedding and show it on the invitation and the form.
6. 06Send yourself a test reply Fill in the form on your phone and check that the answer reaches you.

How does an online RSVP handle these questions?

On CardToPage, the RSVP form sits on the page under your own invitation card. It asks for the guest's name and, if you choose, a WhatsApp number and dietary notes, plus up to two custom questions of your own. Each custom question can be text, yes or no, a choice or a count. A count covers the number in the party, and a choice covers the meal or the events.

Two custom questions is a real limit, so pick the two that change your plans most and ask for song requests in a follow-up message. Replies arrive on your dashboard, and you can export them for the caterer. The full website includes 100 RSVP replies and is a one-time payment. See how it works for the steps.

What should you leave off a wedding RSVP?

Leave off anything that makes guests feel examined. Do not ask why someone is declining. Keep gifts and registry details for a separate message or your wedding website. Skip the postal address if you already have it, and avoid long questionnaires. A reply that takes a minute usually gets sent the same day.

What else do couples ask about RSVPs?